Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
