i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
