This is not my ceiling
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
