I need help removing her.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
