Cold hands, warm shart.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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