Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
