I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
