drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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