you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
