giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
