I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
