I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
