I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I lost the right to judge tonight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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