I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
