driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
