Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Too much gin, very little bucket
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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