i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize