i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
