CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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