Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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