Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
