Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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