would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I would fuck him just for his dog
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
