I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
