he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
