Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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