Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
