I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
