Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
