Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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