If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
