he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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