I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
