I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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