All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
