I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
