I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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