For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
