Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You've changed since you got that strap on
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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