shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
