Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
