so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
