It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We need a shit load of segways right now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
