Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
