But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
