You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
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