Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I supernannyed him into submission
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
