dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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