I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
