I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
