I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
